Fionan's grove (after 2010 saga)

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Re: Fionan's grove (after 2010 saga)

Postby BlueTressym » Wed Jan 05, 2011 10:32 pm

Rilla frowns to herself; the swordsman's words make it clear that he is in distress, even while they seem to dismiss it. She thinks for a moment; she dislikes intruding on another's privacy, but to leave Kira here alone without trying to help would be wrong. Maybe he will rebuff any attempt to help, but that is his choice. She still has to try.

Rilla sits beside Kira

"Kira," she begins hesitantly, wishing she could feel more confident in her ability to say the right things to help"I know I don't know you very well, but you speak of thoughts that distress you, even while you make as if to dismiss them. I don't know your situation, but I know very well how it feels to be unable to escape thoughts that pain you. I may not be able to DO anything, but I can at least listen and maybe give a view from outside the trap of your thoughts. Please talk to me"

*Rilla*
(WoA): 'Lia' Goldmoon; Light elf Celebrant of Lenamo
Kendra; Cat, Curious, - and ALIVE!
Mirya Sohail; High Mage and expatriate
'Rilla' Moonheart; "Bad-Ass Life Elf" - ?!?!?!
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Re: Fionan's grove (after 2010 saga)

Postby Blue mage » Sat Jan 08, 2011 6:29 pm

Kira looked up at Rilla from under his hair without budging.
Probably, Im just depressing on my own. I dont know...it feels like I have become a contradiction to my own beliefs. I have already mentioned I am a swordsman, yes. Being part of the Church of Hope means that I wish to give confidence and the chance at a good life to those around us. This means fighting against Despair in all his forms...

He bit his tongue for a moment before he continued, thinking about his words.
Its like...I try to avoid killing, if I can. Having BEEN to the place we reach after death, Im aware of how terrible it can be. So, I try to avoid taking life, but being who I am, it means I eventually HAVE to kill something to stop them from doing something terrible. But then I think about it later, remember the faces of the people I murder, and think "I sent them to the Wastes". I cant help thinking that what Im doing is wrong, in a way, but that I cant stop, either. I have to keep cutting down those that would cut down even more, but then I never stop cutting, and I think that I'll see more people die than if I didnt kill at all...

He let out a sigh and rubbed his head.
Its like and endless loop of the things we do. We kill to save a life, then keep doing this, over and over again. I got so sick of it, I end up giving the choice of fleeing to those I fight, but few ever do. Then I think and keep on wondering if I could have avoided killing them? Or, maybe just letting them kill me and be over with it? I dont know...but simply dying would be a blasphemy to those I already killed...And then I start thinking from the beginning again.

Ah, another headache...
As it turns out, our battle plan is NOT "Synchronized Panicking"

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Re: Fionan's grove (after 2010 saga)

Postby BlueTressym » Sat Jan 08, 2011 8:25 pm

Rilla listens to Kira and waits for him to finish before she responds.

"Kira, that is the dilemma faced by almost any good person. I realise it probably doesn't make you feel any better to know how many others have the same struggle, but it is true. So you are of the Church of Hope? I have been devoted to the Celestial Dragon for more than a decade, but I know I don't really understand nearly as much about him and serving him as I wish I did. I try my hardest to serve him every day and I have faith that HE understands, that he knows what is in my heart. Perhaps he knows me better than I do myself."

Rilla pauses to think for a moment before continuing; she hadn't meant to talk about herself to a near-stranger, but she has a thought and resolutely continues, just hoping her sudden idea doesn't rebound on her horribly. She kneels, then sits back on her heels, looking at his face as she speaks.

"Kira, who was the last person you killed, and why did you kill them?"

*Rilla*
(WoA): 'Lia' Goldmoon; Light elf Celebrant of Lenamo
Kendra; Cat, Curious, - and ALIVE!
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'Rilla' Moonheart; "Bad-Ass Life Elf" - ?!?!?!
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Re: Fionan's grove (after 2010 saga)

Postby Blue mage » Sat Jan 08, 2011 9:19 pm

Kira, listening to Rilla speak, found himself smiling in an amused manner as she told him more about herself. Celestial Dragon, hmm? The followers of Silver's brother were always valuable allies. Derwent had been one, as he recalled. The thought of Derwent in the Wastes gave him little pleasure, but gladness to recall the man. Alvar, Derwent...and V'jel. Trapped in one body. Stilll, they hadnt faded, so there was pleasure in that. Rilla was almost the next generation from Derwent, in that respect. It was very nostalgic.

The Gods do tend to know out intent better than we do ourselves. There is some relief in that, I suppose.

Her question about who he last killed, made him wince slightly, eyes narrowing, and take a breath. It took a moment...going to Varya after the seige? A Hopeslayer along the way...
Though, undead were hard to count, as most were not sentient, and Hopeslayers...had a tendency to get away quickly. He wasnt sure if the Hopeslayer HAD lived, but seeing as death was hardly an issue to them in the long term of things, it was best not to count that one.
A while ago. About a year ago, I suppose...Im not sure. Possibly a few undead and Hopeslayers on the way to Varya after the siege there. I dont generally count nonsentient beings like undead, and Hopeslayers...well, they dont seem to actually STAY dead. I remember though, it WAS a Hopeslayer. He tried hitting me with magic, I even tried to spare him, offering to let him run. He kept trying anyway, he seemed confused that I would let him go. I looked him straight in the eye and impaled him upon the end of my blade, and cut the body into so many pieces, so he wouldnt return. I was soaked in red, and the meat stuck to my sword...it had been snowing, the metal STUCK to the flesh. It was...sickening.

He covered his eyes with a hand, trying not to picture it. The blade entering the body and exiting the other side, through the spine, then tearing it out through the side, leaving a gaping line across the chest. The sight of blood, soaking him as he cut in a frenzy, removing the head and then the rest of the body, the redness blinding him as it spurted out. The gruesome image, followed shortly by carving into the remaining undead and doing much the same.
If it wasnt something he was so used to by now, Kira might have thrown up. He had the first time it had happened. But that was years ago, another life. The brutality was not a friendly or satisfying thing, but it had to be done. It may as well be him, rather than someone who would truly be at a loss.
As it turns out, our battle plan is NOT "Synchronized Panicking"

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Re: Fionan's grove (after 2010 saga)

Postby BlueTressym » Sat Jan 08, 2011 9:51 pm

Rilla tentatively reaches out and touches his arm. "I'm sorry Kira; I didn't ask that question to torment you, just to try and understand. This - Hopeslayer," Rilla shudders in disgust as she utters the common term for a type of person she utterly despises, "he had attacked you first?"

*Rilla*
(WoA): 'Lia' Goldmoon; Light elf Celebrant of Lenamo
Kendra; Cat, Curious, - and ALIVE!
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Re: Fionan's grove (after 2010 saga)

Postby Blue mage » Sat Jan 08, 2011 10:05 pm

Kira fidgets at the touch, feeling slightly odd at the tenderness.
As I recall, you were with us. It wasnt just me, it was all of us at the time. So yes, they attacked first. I fought defensively at first, then gave the chance to flee...then killed. It was over in a few moments. Well...he was ended in an instant at least...then came that next part.

He sighed, biting his lip. It had been long enough ago, and yet not long enough. Too soon, but too far, too. It made no sense.
As it turns out, our battle plan is NOT "Synchronized Panicking"

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Re: Fionan's grove (after 2010 saga)

Postby BlueTressym » Sat Jan 08, 2011 10:43 pm

Rilla removes her hand, not wanting to make Kira any more uncomfortable. "Too often it happens that way" She thinks for a moment. "Undead fill me with horror, but at the same time, the ones that are just mindless beings, I-I pity them"

Looking at Kira she continues " I know that might sound odd, but they didn't choose to end that way, and they have no choice in what they do. To do that to someone - it's sickening. The ones I truly despise are the ones who inflict such torment upon souls that should be allowed to rest - The Hopeslayers!"

She then looks slightly embarrassed. "I'm sorry Kira. I believe that you kill because you believe that the alternative - what would happen if you Didn't kill - if you Didn't protect those in your company, or your care - would be worse. Is that true?"

*Rilla*
(WoA): 'Lia' Goldmoon; Light elf Celebrant of Lenamo
Kendra; Cat, Curious, - and ALIVE!
Mirya Sohail; High Mage and expatriate
'Rilla' Moonheart; "Bad-Ass Life Elf" - ?!?!?!
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Re: Fionan's grove (after 2010 saga)

Postby Blue mage » Sat Jan 08, 2011 10:59 pm

Kira looked up at her from unde rhis hair and smiled. It was hard to tell if it was bitter or not, but at least it was something.
I do not hate my enemies. Even the most vile, I do not hate. the mindless undead, as you say, did not choose to be such. But slaying them destroys their souls forever...it sickens me when I think of it that way, so I dont think about it. I just register they are there, cut them asunder and move on. Anything more would be too horrible to contemplate. Even the Hopeslayers I do not loathe. Some, at heart, truly belive they are doing right. The Church of Quarrin, terrible as it may be, promotes death to end the suffering of life. I do not hate the core of this idea, a way to prevent suffering. Their methods are corrupt, but the idea of ending all pains is not to be condemned.

He bit his lip, contemplating how Rill might interpret this, but went on.
Even so, Hopeslayers must be stopped, or shown another way. No-one should be truly beyond redemption, after all...

Her next question made him freeze for a moment, considering, then slowly nod.
I suppose so. But what can I do? Kill. Thats it. I have some healing spells now, but nothing of note. Anyone can take a life, and no-one seems to register its value. They register the value of the innocent people, or others, but never the value of, say, even an enemy. A life unique, and so fragile, and yet...in a second, its snuffed out, gone forever. Even those we kill deserved a chance to live, to find redemption, no?
As it turns out, our battle plan is NOT "Synchronized Panicking"

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Re: Fionan's grove (after 2010 saga)

Postby BlueTressym » Sun Jan 09, 2011 12:22 am

Rilla listens thoughtfully, frowning occasionally, and sometimes biting her tongue to avoid jumping in. When he finishes, she shakes her head. "I would like to believe that they are doing what they believe is right, but I do not think it is true.

Maybe a few do, but even they are causing as much suffering as they could possibly be ending. To say that Life is all suffering, and to make the decision to end a person's 'suffering' by tormenting and killing? No! That person deserves their chance too, and it is not for those who revel in death themselves to force others to die, to take away their choice. Most people want to live, to face what pain life brings and to embrace the joys that are also their due. They should not have that taken from them. By ending lives, they may end suffering, but they end happiness too and cause distress and pain to those they have bereft of their loved ones. Most of the 'suffering' these self-righteous murderers speak of has been caused by them in the first place; they bring the very suffering they claim they seek to end!"


Rilla takes a breath; her passionate feelings about both Life and death are something she has seldom spoken of so freely. "For someone to try and determine for all that Life is not worth living - that suffering it all that Life gives. They must truly be closing their minds and eyes."

Rilla fixes her gaze on Kira as she continues to speak. "I'm not really very good at this, but I will try my best." She takes a deep breath and visibly braces herself, "Kira, do not mistake me; I have suffered torments of both body and spirit. I have felt my God fall, and die! I felt as if my soul was being torn asunder. Just a short time again I was in a nightmare landscape, where afflicted innocents were everywhere, and everything I did to try and help them only worsened their suffering. My will ans spirit were torn from me as I saw them and heard their anguished cries; so much so that I fell unconscious."

Rilla's face clearly shows the horror of her memories as she speaks. "My friends helped me then, as they have many times before, as Fin held me in his arms when I was screaming in torment as my God died"

She takes a shuddering breath. "Kira, those who see death as the answer to all, they are wrong. Worse though, there are many who simply enjoy the power they gain from enslaving the souls of those they have killed, or those they find. Dragging hapless people from the peace of their graves to satisfy one's own madness for power, that is truly an atrocity. To cause unnecessary pain is wrong, to do so for one's own gain, is worse. To do so because of an enjoyment of that suffering, that is horrific."

"As you have said, everyone deserves a chance, but as you have also said, some refuse to take it. You do not need to feel guilt or shame when you have truly tried your best to save someone, have given them the choice to avoid unnecessary slaughter, yet they have determined to continue. That Hopeslayer need not have died, but he chose to attack us, to try and harm us.

Believe me Kira,
She continues, feeling that if she stops, she might never be able to speak so again, I would save them all if i could. I am sworn to protect the innocent, but I would save every life, if they would only accept it."

Rilla lets out a sigh that speaks of true sorrow. "You are right Kira, yes, redemption should be possible for everyone. it isn't though. Sometimes the only way to keep safe what you hold dear, is to take way the life of that which would take it from you, and from what you cherish. Sometimes Kira, there just isn't any way that can save everyone. Sometimes, there is no way you can keep them all alive and safe."

Rilla's expression changes abruptly to one of resolve and she stares straight back at Kira with fierce determination in her eyes. "Kira, never stop doing good, because you begin to feel that what you do isn't good enough! Remember why you killed those people, remember not just what you fight against, the evil, the insane, and even the deluded righteous. remember what you are fighting FOR, Kira!"

Rilla's blue eyes are alight as she speaks rapidly "What do you fight FOR, Kira? The lives you took? Remember the pain and try to save all you can, but think Kira, think of the lives you SAVED! Think of the people that Hopeslayer would have killed, think of your friends who still walk in the land of the Living because you were there at their side. Think of the people safe in their homes because a death-obsessed lunatic is gone and can never harm them, because of you. The women and their children! Think about every one of them! You may have killed many, and I know that pain, but you Saved many too; that truth is too important to be lost in endless regret that you are not perfect, for no one is."


Rilla sits back, feeling drained from her outpouring of emotion
(WoA): 'Lia' Goldmoon; Light elf Celebrant of Lenamo
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Re: Fionan's grove (after 2010 saga)

Postby Blue mage » Wed Jan 19, 2011 5:00 pm

Kira stares at the floor the whole time Rilla speaks. However, he heard clearly everything she had said. Actually, it reminded him of something else, another time when he still was a boy...Rilla certainly had the passion of a life giver at least, a guardian of the body and mind. It was very much akin to that time on the island, when the depression of causing such trouble had produced a catonic state as Galatine had though upon his actions. Though, thinking about it, as Rilla spoke, was this any better? At least then he had reflected upon his choices during that time rather than simply run from them. Now, people still got killed or wounded, and he could prevent that. Yet, he was here in this tranquility trying to escape conflict in which he could offer support.

And, thinking more clearly, he had waited too long. He had let much go on without trying for a very long time. Had he not rested enough? He had cut down occasional undead, but for over a year, had not taken a life. But, was this any better? People died, it was inevitable. Maybe the idea of taking life was not satisfactory, but nothing was perfect. And avoiding taking life for so long had only caused more internal problems than it solved, with the guilt that he should do something.

Kira stood up, gripping the sword by the hilt, and a faintest of lights around his body, a slight red. It was as though some inner fire was now seeping through his skin...more so, his feelings were coming out of him quite clearly. Resolution, clarity. He looked to Rilla, eyes narrowed, seriously, and bowed ever so slightly.

I still feel that the taking of life is wrong. Though, you are correct in all you say. I dont appreciate most of all that we take life so easily without a thought for the damage it causes others...but as you say, this pain of ending one life ends a life that could take even more. So...

He took up the sword and sheathed it in his hakama sash, next to the short sword, letting the sword sleep at his side.

I'll continue doing what must be done, so others do not have to. And, those I DO kill...I'll pray for their rest, and appreciate the goodness that comes from the kill, and pray for forgiveness from the bad. Do what is right, offer the choice of living, and if I must kill, kill and respect the life that has ended, rather than take the evil they did with it. Im not sure how to put it exactly, Im not good at wording it correctly, but...
He bit his lip, then relaxed, nodding his head to Rilla, lowly.
Thank you. Maybe it was just the confession itself, maybe it was having someone who can understand the sentiment...but thank you. The weight of the world feels lighter now. THIS is who Kira should be. Time to move on, and let Galatine go. Thank you, Rilla.

It was true, this was letting go of Galatine completely now, too. Galatine, the boy who took life with sadness, plagued by the demons inward and outward, was finally let go. Kira, the person Galatine wanted to become, to start again, was complete. But a new name didnt make itt hat way. Letting go of the past did, now. What had to be done had to be done. Kira, Galatine, whoever he was, it didnt matter: he felt better. Things felt clearer, and the stigma on his mind was gone, leaving a clarity, a certain peacefulness, reflected in the grove. No more sorrow.
As it turns out, our battle plan is NOT "Synchronized Panicking"

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Re: Fionan's grove (after 2010 saga)

Postby BlueTressym » Fri Jan 21, 2011 12:50 am

Rilla frowns at Kira's comment about taking life being easy. When he has finished she replies "There is never anything easy about it, at least, never for me. I have seen someone who killed without thought and I know that I could never live that way, because to cut down a person without caring, without - without even Noticing, almost..." Rilla shudders at the memory of the dead girl and her uncaring killer, one who had shown no remorse, or sorrow for the innocent whose life she had needlessly ended.

Shaking her head to chase away the unwelcome memory, Rilla takes a breath and manages a smile at Kira as he finishes speaking. "If I have helped you at all Kira, then I am glad. I have no better knowledge or wisdom than you; I follow my heart, and my God and what I feel to be right and hope that my choice brings good and not harm. I have made mistakes and I have found it hard to forgive myself, but you are right; we do what we can, and make what good we can, even if that 'good' choice can only be one that brings less harm, we hope, then another."

Rilla also stands and looks across the grove and the grounds of the Healing Centre. "Fin will be returning soon. I have to go to the Temple and speak with 'Des; have you seen it? He and the other refugees have worked hard to make it a fitting monument to the Giver of Life" She smiles slightly, then tilts her head, looking thoughtfully at Kira. "Would you accompany me to the temple, Kira? I would like to ask your advice, maybe even your help and I need to speak of it to 'Des as well. It is something that is important to me" She pauses for a moment, trying to gauge his reaction before adding "if you can't, or don't want to, then you know you are welcome to rest here for as long as you want to" She smiles then, a genuine smile as she looks around the peaceful grove. "I love it here; I find the peace and beauty helps me to calm myself and eases my mind when I feel troubled, and if I am not, I just enjoy watching the world go by!"

*Rilla*
(WoA): 'Lia' Goldmoon; Light elf Celebrant of Lenamo
Kendra; Cat, Curious, - and ALIVE!
Mirya Sohail; High Mage and expatriate
'Rilla' Moonheart; "Bad-Ass Life Elf" - ?!?!?!
Amavaine Kalythaer; Elven/Avian Sorceress

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Re: Fionan's grove (after 2010 saga)

Postby spsblue » Fri Jan 28, 2011 10:06 am

Fin returns to his Grove.

"I have been thinking, it is about time we returned to Des's island and dealt with those demons there.

I believe that the Water required for the ritual should be the spirit water from this Grove - which will hopefully help bring peace because of the nature of Nocaya and the other spirits in this area - and that as Life elves we should try and add life magic to the ritual in some way to hopefully heal those hurt by the demons or even purify the demons rather than trapping them."

Fin then kneels down next to the stream and uncorks a small deep blue rectangular looking bottle.
" Nocaya, please could you aid us in this task with water blessed by yourself and the peace of Lenanuki. "

A gentle voice responds - "Of course, but try not to harm either side as much as possible." - then a ripple of water arcs up from the surface of the stream in to the bottle filling it.
Fin bows then rises from his knees. " Thank you, Nocaya. We shall strive for peace as much as possible - but not at the expense of not protecting innocents. "

<Fionan Druce (Fin)>
Andy Cooper or
Kestrel Updraft (Avian scholar)
Korthain DEAD (1)
Derwent Thurza DEAD (2)
Corporal Cynrick DEAD (3)
Fionan Druce (Life Elf Druid)
WOA: Jasper Methlar (Telefret High Mage)

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Re: Fionan's grove (after 2010 saga)

Postby BlueTressym » Fri Jan 28, 2011 10:15 am

Rilla nods as Fin speaks and while he gathers the spirit-blessed water she turns back to Kira. "Sorry Kira; I have to go and find 'Des." She looks round at Fin, "Is he at the temple, Fin?"

*Rilla*
(WoA): 'Lia' Goldmoon; Light elf Celebrant of Lenamo
Kendra; Cat, Curious, - and ALIVE!
Mirya Sohail; High Mage and expatriate
'Rilla' Moonheart; "Bad-Ass Life Elf" - ?!?!?!
Amavaine Kalythaer; Elven/Avian Sorceress

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Re: Fionan's grove (after 2010 saga)

Postby Edd » Fri Jan 28, 2011 3:15 pm

A child runs into the grove, carrying a large, tubular parcel wrapped in silver cloth and bound with gold cord. He stops as he catches sight of Rilla and Fionan, and looks shocked, as if he didn't expect to find the life elves. He shyly steps forward and clears his throat, holding the parcel up to them.

"Um...this is for you...I...I think..."
Razorwind - Paladin of Quaos
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Re: Fionan's grove (after 2010 saga)

Postby BlueTressym » Sat Jan 29, 2011 9:18 pm

Rilla exchanges a bemused look with Fin before holding out her hands, somewhat tentatively, for the parcel.

*Rilla*
(WoA): 'Lia' Goldmoon; Light elf Celebrant of Lenamo
Kendra; Cat, Curious, - and ALIVE!
Mirya Sohail; High Mage and expatriate
'Rilla' Moonheart; "Bad-Ass Life Elf" - ?!?!?!
Amavaine Kalythaer; Elven/Avian Sorceress


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